I just love buying stuff on Amazon. That new 400,000 BTU Red Dragon flamethrower. A bulky 10LB Flame King propane tank. The optional flame control valve kit. Did I forget to buy extra gauze pads and sterile burn cream? Click, click, click, click. Hey, life seems great.
That is, until I get the whopping credit card bill.
Paranoia issues aside, I know there’s a sinister plot waiting to be uncovered here. The sales geeks over at Amazon wirelessly injected my keyboard with a clandestine concoction that forces me to buy more than I need. And don’t even get me started about what happens when the wife gets into the act. No Tory Burch flats or Jimmy Choo pumps can hide from the long arm of a woman equipped with a FiOS 25MBPS internet connection and a hungry American Express credit card.
So it was with a sigh of relief – and a tinge of debt – that I was pleased to hear how the man responsible for creating this economically perplexing phenomena, Ezra Firestone, will be speaking at LTB 2015 about a topic that is oh-so-relevant: selling stuff on Amazon and beyond.
Boy, have I got a boatload of questions for him.
“How do you manage to upsell a jumble of loosely related items that are marked ‘frequently bought together,’ in less than 0.4 nanoseconds?”
“What’s your secret formula for becoming a featured merchant and winning coveted space inside the Buy Box?”
“Is there any way you can help me out with the upcoming Amex bill?”
Oops, sorry. Apparently, the mind is preoccupied today (“inhale, pay Amex bill, exhale; inhale, pay Amex bill; exhale”).
In any case, Ezra will be at LTB 2015 revealing his deep, dark, mystical e-commerce selling secrets. If this type of thing is up your alley, it’s definitely worth it for you to step away from the computer screen for a day and head over to The Rockleigh of New Jersey.
Oh, and one more question, Ezra: “I totally dig the hairdo – who’s your barber?”
You don’t have to respond now, of course. Feel free to message me via Amazon.